Nancy's Page


Dealing with Death and Grieving

I received an email message from a TZF visitor who is struggling with living with the suicide death of the love of her life, and who created an exquisite memorial website in his memory. Every page is eloquently written and beautiful to view, and comes from the depth of her soul. On one particular page, near the bottom there is a poem directed towards those loving persons who are trying to help her with her pain and grief. The poem is entitled “Please See Me Through My Tears”. I recommend it to anyone working with those who are left behind after a death in their family, whether from suicide or by any cause. [Editor’s Note: The website mentioned by nancy is evidently no longer active. However, the poem she refers to here can be read at TZF’s Open Space. Also, those who are dealing with these kinds of issues may wish to visit a website called “Journey of Hearts: A Healing Place”, about which please see here.]

While her site deals more specifically with the particular agony of integrating a suicide death by a loved one into her own continuing necessity to complete her own life and live it to its end, she addresses and expresses the universal agony of being left behind, of trying to get up in the morning, and continue life despite the emptiness and hopelessness. Her expressions of pain and struggle hurt just to read, and they truly touch the heart. It sensitizes one to her own particular struggle, while at the same time allows those of us fortunate enough to be spared this pain right now (most of us will encounter it sometime, somewhere in our own lives), to glimpse into the depth of despair and the disbelief and struggle required to deal with death, and all its terrifying implications. There are those who may wish not to be reminded, and that is understandable, and okay, but there are those who might wish to enter into or share the heartfelt pain of a grieving individual who must pick up the pieces and resume living despite the inevitable hopelessness and loneliness that comes from such an event.


The Zoo Fence
“Eclipse” by Chard

Many deaths follow many births,
in a continual cycle.
Realizing the meaning of “unborn”
leads beyond joy and grief.

Nancy's Page

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